The new DICKheads have been announced over the past week.
The department of Inefficiency will be headed by Darth Musk, who lost 80% of Twitter’s value in 2 years. He put his dog in place as CEO, rescinded banned fascist accounts, including Trumps, banned journalists, spread misinformation, antisemitism, and stupid conspiracies, and has led to a massive exit of users from the site. He was sued for lying about having funding secured to take Tesla private, and ultimately lost shareholders $12 billion over just 10 days. He also told advertisers moving away from x (twitter) to go fuck themselves, came up with a stupid idea to build a submarine to save trapped cavers, and called the man leading the group to actually save them a paedophile. His SpaceX was grounded after their rocket exploded, his Teslas have been spontaneously combusting when wet, and SpaceX is being sued for flytipping on land belonging to Cards Against Humanity.
The Department of Corruption isn’t actually a department. We lied, for dramatic effect and artistic license. Matt Gaetz, Trump’s attorney general, has been investigated by his own party for sex trafficking. He was investigated for corruption in 2019, has attended drug-fueled parties, and recent allegations state he had sex with a minor in 2017. He quit congress two days before a highly damaging ethics committee findings was to be released.
The Department of Killing people is to be headed by RFK Jr. In 2010, he suffered from memory issues and brain fog – later discovered to be the result of a parasitic worm that he had come into contact with in India. There’s no blaming brain worms for his belief that AIDS is not caused by HIV. RFK Jr also thinks vaccines cause autism, wants to ban fluoride from water, believes processed food is responsible for obesity, and stated that covid was “targeted to attack Caucasians and black people. The people who are most immune are Ashkenazi Jews and Chinese.”
The inefficient, the corrupt, and the deadly in charge of efficiency, investigating corruption, and health. Unfortunately this article doesn’t even include satire, because Donald is so over-the-top ridiculous he’s almost immune.
If you need to escape from the stupidity of real-life for a moment, Noun of Noun and Adjective is perfect for you. Read some hope punk trans environmental satire and let it re-energize you.