Top 5 Dildo Shapes for Spending Valentines Alone

A bunch of dildos of different colours and sizes, and one random butt plug not wanting left out
lgbt history museum, opening night. Castro, San Francisco, CA.
Photo by Merry, wiki commons — Group Photo of the US Presidential Cabinet

With the rise of South Korean movement 4B in the US, Rebel Wrath is offering support to the woman who have sworn off fascist men who don’t respect their rights by helping them enjoy being single.

Many US women ended relationships after finding out their boyfriends, fiances, or husbands voted for Donald. We support that and salute those women.

But it’s hard being single, so here’s the top 5 dildo shapes to keep you happy without a man.

5) The Tantus Charmer

A purple dildo, one side straight, the other wavy — for those who like their dildos smaller

Well, it’s a gorgeous colour. A waterproof silicone dildo that has 6.8 inches of insertable length (bigger than your ex) and a 1.4 inch circumference, this is a great slim dildo for those not used to larger sizes. The ridges help stimulate the g-spot or prostrate, and it costs $45 from Lovehoney.

4) Liquid Silicone Long Realistic Dildo 14 Inch

This high quality silicone dildo has an insertable length of 11.22 inches and a diameter of 2.08 inches. It weighs over 1kg and is realistically shaped. The suction cup works well for hands free pleasure. It costs £53.99 and comes from Lovetoys.

3) Stellar dildo

A glass dildo that looks like an alien creature, with a curving tail, sinuous body, and bulbous head, fading from tan to blue along its length with edging of purple and green. — for those who like their dildos weirder

This unique waterproof glass dildo has an insertable length of 5 inches, a circumference of 3.75 inches, and a look reminiscent of something James Cameron dreamt up. It’s $38 from Unbound Babes, and is great for both anal and vaginal play.

2) Icicles G-Spotter

Glass dildo, one side rippled for anal play, the other side has a bulbous end and a curve. — the only time “both sides” is a good argument

With an insertable length of 7 inches and 1.75 inch circumference, this waterproof glass dildo from Pipedream is great for both anal and vaginal play. It costs $47 and is available from Babeland.

1) Ika The Tentacle

A dark and light blue dildo shaped like the tip of a tentacle with suction pads along the length — your ex was a sucker, so your dildo should have suckers too

Bad Dragon’s dildos are customisable. You can select a variety of lengths, widths, and colours. They also come in a variety of prices that vary according to your choices. The Ika won the altporn awards in 2017, and it’s no surprise. Who doesn’t want fucked by tentacles?

Just us, huh? Cowards.

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